I Still Wake Up

Yesterday was #worldmentalhealthday.

I finally went back to physio yesterday morning because I was tired of the stiffness and dull pain on my left shoulder that disrupted my precious sleep for the last several months and limited my range of movement. The therapist concluded it was adhesive capsulitis. I hate that I was at risk for this shit because of age and diabetes.

My current glasses don't work anymore. I'm tired of ordering new glasses. I hate glasses. I hate not being able to read properly up close. I hate presbyopia.

I hate that my body is slowly deteriorating over time in several tiny different ways. I hate taking my medicines. The increasing number of tiny little pills and daily anti hyperglycaemic injections remind me of my mortality. I hate that my ability to cope is impeded by the pandemic and all the anxieties that come with it because as a species, people are just dumb as fuck.

Yesterday was #worldmentalhealthday. Much as I find life exceedingly tedious, I still wake up, and today is a new day.