Dining Room Chair

I know you've been thinking of ways to get rid of me.

I'm not denying it.

You think that I'm so cheaply made that my upholstery was in tatters in just a couple of years after you got me.

You were made in China. What else is there to say?

But I implore you to keep me a while longer. I promise to be sturdy and strong while you sit on me.

I fear I might fall down if I sit on you. And you're ugly as fuck.

But you've been shopping on Amazon for seat covers. That means you still like me!

I wouldn't say that. I wanted to cover you up because you're just so fucking ugly.

You're hurting my feelings.

You're a chair. You're kindling.