I know you've been thinking of ways to get rid of me.
I'm not denying it.
You think that I'm so cheaply made that my upholstery was in tatters in just a couple of years after you got me.
You were made in China. What else is there to say?
But I implore you to keep me a while longer. I promise to be sturdy and strong while you sit on me.
I fear I might fall down if I sit on you. And you're ugly as fuck.
But you've been shopping on Amazon for seat covers. That means you still like me!
I wouldn't say that. I wanted to cover you up because you're just so fucking ugly.
You're hurting my feelings.
You're a chair. You're kindling.