Oh, how I love your fingers on me!
It's really nice to type on you. Expensive as fuck, but boy, your keys are so buttery soft.
And didn't I relieve you of your repetitive strain injury?
Very much so! You're just a tad wide though.
Sorry, I can't help it. I just gotta have my home keys and my keypad.
It would have been great if you didn't. Then I wouldn't have to constantly adjust my typing position, let alone grab my mouse on that far end.
I'm not perfect. But I know you still love me more than that Microsoft Sculpt Ergonomic Keyboard gathering dust on your shelf.
Well, Microsoft makes crappy products.
I know. And I make your typing so much faster and efficient. Especially writing this story.